Know your stars! My collection
by Lover of Seto Kaiba
Summary: (Reposted) A Yu-Gi-Oh version of Know your Stars. Who's up first? Why, it's everyone's favorite CEO, Seto Kaiba!
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1 Seto Kaiba

Yep! It's back! Sorry, my last 'Know your Stars' story got deleted because it was in script format. (Thanks a ton to the asshole who reported me) I will try to keep it like it was, but some of the facts may be a little different than they were in my last one. Anyway, tell me it you like it! I've also done a little fixing up, as you're sure to notice.

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Know your stars...

Know your stars...

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Know your stars...

Seto Kaiba

"Seto Kaiba . . . Has a brother named Bob."

"Uh . . . " Seto looks around. "No, I don't, I have a brother named Mokuba . . . Where is that voice coming from?"

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"Seto Kaiba . . . Doesn't even know his own brother's name . . ."

"YesI do. His name is Mokuba."

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"Seto Kaiba . . . works as a PE coach in an elementary school."

"No, I'm the CEO of Kaiba Corp. I'm a very successful person."

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"Blah Blah Blah...you sound just like my old coach."

"Uh-hu . . . right."

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"Seto Kaiba . . . drives an old, mustard-yellow station wagon."

"Where are you getting this information? I don't even drive!"

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"Seto Kaiba...was too dumb to pass his drivers test..."

"No! I have a hired driver."

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"Mmhmm, you just keep telling yourself that."

"I don't have time for this."

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"Seto Kaiba...is picking his nose..."

"What?!"

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"What's the matter, nose picker?"

"Well...that's mature."

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"And now you know Seto Kaiba, the nose picking PE coach who can't drive."

"That's it!" He stands up. "I could have you fired for this!"

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"No, you couldn't."

"Yes I could! You just wait, I'll be back! I always come back!"

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" . . .He won't be back . . . "

Sorry it was so short. I deleted the chapters from my computer, so I don't actually know exactly how it went before. Basically, I'm just going by memory. Anyway, I'm not taking requests this time. I'm instead just going to interview who I feel like interviewing. And next, I think I'm going interview . . . Tea Gardner!


	2. Tea

Chapter 2 Tea Gardner

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or the 'Know your Stars' thing from All that.

"Okay, I'm ready for my interview." Tea smiles that "friendly" smile and sits down in the chair.

"Tea Gardner . . . has absolutely no friends."

"What?" Looks around. "I have great friends. Why, if it weren't for my friends, I would've never-"

"Tea Gardner . . . believes that the key to everything is hatred."

"No! The key to everything is friendship. Friendship rules all. Friendship is the one thing that-"

"Yaaaaaaaawn Tea Gardner...is in love with a certain guy by the name of Joey Wheeler."

"What?! Joey's my friend!" She blushes. " Oh, and speaking of friends, did I tell you that-"

"Tea Gardner . . . would like to claw out Mai Valentine's eyes because she's dating Joey Wheeler."

"No! I would _never _do such a thing to my friend!"

"Tea Gardner... since Joey's already taken, she dates the next best thing: a nasty, silver-haired gay man."

"Ewe!" She looks appalled. " I do not!"

"Tea Gardner . . . is carrying Maximilian Pegasus's baby."

"Gasp! That is a complete and total lie!"

"Tea Gardner . . . only slept with Pegasus because she wanted to get even with her dream guy, Joey."

"Joey is not my dream guy! And . . . gag . . . I'm not carrying Pegasus's baby!"

"Know you know Tea Gardner, the friendless hatred lover who's carrying Pegasus's baby."

"No I'm not!" She begins to cry.

A/N Sorry it was so short and . . . well . . . not even very funny. I know, I suck, but I couldn't think of anything for her. She's a very . . . difficult character. Next up is actually a double feature that I had on my other one. (Before that jackass got it deleted, but I won't go into that) It's the world's cutest couple: Joey and Mai


	3. Joey and Mai

Chapter 3 Joey and Mai

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-Oh or the 'Know your Stars' thing from all that.

Okay, this one's going to be complicated. Since there are three people talking in this, I'm going to put the announcer in _italics. _Maybe that will make things a little easier. God, this was so much easier back when it was in script. But, as I now know, script format is like one of the ultimate sins on fanfiction, and there are some ass-holes out there who will report you for it. So, here it is . . . I guess . . . (sighs in disgust at the prejudice against script format.) :(

Joey Wheeler and Mai Valentine walk in. There are two chairs sitting on the stage, so they both take one. Suddenly, they hear a voice...

" _Joey and Mai...are brother and sister." -Announcer_

"Er...no we're not. She's my girlfriend."-Joey

"_Ewe! You're dating your sister! Incest! Incest!" -Announcer_

"No! We're not related in any way!" -Mai

" Right!" -Joey

"_Okay, I'll buy that...for now at least. Ahem, Joey and Mai...are the world's cutest gay couple." -Announcer_

"What!" -Joey and Mai

" _Isn't it true? You went on this show to tell everyone that you're lovers." -Announcer_

"That doesn't mean we're gay!" -Mai

"_Well, if two women love each other-" -Announcer_

" What's that supposed to mean, creep?" -Joey

" _What do you think it means, girlie?"_ -Announcer

"Awright, that's it!" -Joey

"Joey, dear, calm down." -Mai

"_Yeah, Joey dear, or should I say, Josie dear!" -Announcer_

"What did you just say!" - Josie...oops, I mean Joey

" _Josie and Mai..." -Announcer_

"I'm Joey!" -Joey

"_As I was saying, Josie and Mai...one of these two aren't faithful..." -Announcer_

" Gasp! Oooooh!" Crowd of readers. (You know I had to put you in here. Congrats! You're part of a fanfic!)

" My name is...wait...what did you just say?" -Joey

"_You heard me." -Announcer _

(Turns to Mai) "Is there something you want to tell me?" -Joey

" No! You know this guy's been lying the whole time." -Mai

"_Mai Valentine...it appears she had an affair with Josie's starry-haired best friend." -Announcer_

"Yugi! You had an affair with Yugi! Mai, how could you!" -Joey

"Lies! Joey, he's lying! I love you, and only you! You're my everything!" -Mai

"Awwwww" -Crowd of readers.

"Mai, you...you really mean it?...I love you too, Mai." -Joey

"_Josie Wheeler...once peeked in on Mai when she was dressing." -Announcer_

(Turns to Joey furiously) "WHAT!" -Mai

"No! Mai, I never! I would never- well...I can't lie to you...maybe I did...once." -Joey

"_What? Really? Wow, you're a total creep." -Announcer_

(Stars at Joey in utter shock) " I...I can't believe you! That's it, Joey! We're finished!" -Mai

"No! No! Mai, please forgive me!" -Joey

"_Don't forgive him." -Announcer_

"Goodbye, Josie. Next time, I'm going out with a MAN!" -Mai

"_Ahem...uh, I'm free after I finish this.." -Announcer_

"...well, you do have that deep, sexy, manly voice." -Mai

"_hehe...and now you know Josie, the perv, and Mai, my new woman. Come on, baby. Let's get out of here." -Announcer_

Mai leaves the room, the audience leaves, and the lights switch off, leaving Joey sitting alone in the dark.

"...Mai? Please come back..."


End file.
